Assumptions of Communication

“What do you do,?” is one of the most frequently asked questions amongst adults of all ages around the world. Your ability, or lack thereof, to answer that question has enormous ramifications. It wouldn’t be hard for anyone to remember a number of people we’ve met in the past who stammered or muttered their way embarrassingly and hopelessly thru that conversation. Or maybe you’ve met the individual who couldn’t control their passion, or their mouths, and it takes an intervention to get away.

Consider the benefits if every person in your organization (executives, management, customer service, accountants, delivery peeps, and more), could effectively articulate what your company and business does. What if everyone had amazing communication skills that could transform your business – and their lives?

For entrepreneurs, executives, and management, communication becomes even more critical. Both written and verbal communication skills are one of the most important assets in demand today throughout the world. Successful relationships with team members, employees, vendors, investors, shareholders, customers and clients, and your loved ones all depend on your ability to communicate.

Assumptions are typically…not good. This time, though, there are some assumptions when it comes to chatting with others that help immensely. Let me share a few with you:

  1. I’m betting that nobody out there can read minds. If you don’t clearly articulate what you’re trying to say, you leave lots of room for individual interpretations. Staying silent doesn’t work. Rolling the eyes doesn’t work. Words are needed to get your messages out.
  2. It’s a busy world. Attention spans are getting shorter every day. Learn to bottom line it when communicating – both written and verbally. Unfortunately, even our loved ones don’t necessarily want to hear the long version when a short will do.
  3. Nobody likes being told what to do. Or getting unsolicited advice. Never assume someone wants to hear what you think they ‘should’ do. Listen carefully to your own words – be open, be aware of your languaging. Consider those shoulda’s, coulda’s, and woulda’s.
  4. Excuses are just that – excuses. Which most people don’t want to hear, and usually don’t care about. If you must apologize, then do that. Keep your excuses to yourself, unless asked for a reason.

Much of our language is focused on self-sabotage, and I invite you to listen carefully to your words. Do you hear self-doubt, a lack of self-confidence, questioning voice patterns, or do you hear a deep-seated belief in your words and intentions?

Do you hear negative, self-deprecating, critical language, or do you hear positive, complimentary, and encouraging attitude with the words to back it?

While there are times where saying, “I can’t,” may be appropriate, what if you say, “I won’t,” or “I’m not wanting or willing at this time…”? Consider what can happen when you take responsibility for those wants and needs. Many times you’ll be able to remove any barriers or excuses, and move forward with a particular stuck. It’s also important to note that it’s always ok to NOT be willing or wanting to do something, for whatever reason. Things take as long as they take.

Let go of the ‘should have’ and go with “I could have made a different choice…”

Let go of the “but’s” and “just” as much as possible as it negates or disavows your intent.

Take a mulligan when, and not if, you slip (cuz you are human…).
It’s all part of our Inner Game, isn’t it? Being accurate with our words gives us ample opportunities to be open and honest with yourself, and with others.

Taking responsibility for our choices is a powerful catalyst – it unleashes momentum and brings an inner, EMPOWERED peace. You only have to accept it.

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